My Funny Valentine
by athrna
Summary: The beginning of Itachi's love story. He is waking up from a dream of his childhood memories. Who needs chocolate when you have dango? One-shot sequel to 'Like A Dream'. SPOILERS! M for language and explicit undertones. 2014 Valentine Special - one year anniversary for 'Like A Dream' project. [extended - revised] - reminder - Yuna, the girl's name means 'dream girl'. Song-fic.


I do not own Naruto. Copyright to Kishimoto Masashi.

A/N: This is an one-shot episode from _Like A Dream_. The event is in the present/future (at the very end) in terms of when it stands. **SPOILERS ALERT!** Please take responsibilities for your own actions. If you have a problem with spoilers, I cannot help you if you decide to ignore my warnings and read on.

Alternatively, you can choose to read this fic until Itachi wakes up.

It is **M** rated for language and contains explicit undertones.

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day.

* * *

**My Funny Valentine**

That particular Valentine's Day was one that Itachi remembered rather well. It was the year when they were about to take the chuunin exam. Before, he had always liked dango, but because of her, he was now hooked on sweet dumplings that were strung up on a skewer. He never told her why. Back then, they were ten years old, young and ignorant. Those were the days of innocence.

Itachi had hissed when he saw those freaks larking around. They were waiting for him to get out of the house so they could jump at him, literally. He hid behind a wall, peeking at the entrance, checking to see if _those things_ had managed to get through his giant figure of a mother. Mikoto stood tall and brave. She gave a smirk with her hands on her hips.

"Mum's got it. Leave the house through the back door once I give you the signal."

She assured Itachi that he would survive this attack. Even so, he looked worried. It was the first year that he was old enough to fall victim to such phenomenon. Namely: Valentine's Day. Meanwhile, Mikoto thought irritatedly of her husband's irresponsible action towards his son.

_Ain't nobody's gonna lay a finger on ma boy!_

Fugaku was smart. He had made sure that he was far away from the house that morning, leaving for the Police Station at six. By doing that, he would definitely avoid all of his elder son's fangirls. At least for the time being, that was.

Pink cards, heart-shaped chocolates, girls…. They were gathering by the front door of a house, the resident of the head of the Uchiha clan. Mikoto told those screaming creatures to queue up, and so they did, obediently. They needed her help if they wanted their gifts to arrive at her son's hands. With a blank face, the mother put the cards in one laundry bag and the homemade goodies in another.

"Next." Mikoto said bluntly.

Each girl looked disappointed, but there was nothing more she could do. She could only wait until her presents were received by her crush. Then… he might just return her feelings for him…. Then his mother would shoot a glare to hurry the girl. Each one dimly bowed towards Mikoto to show her respect and ran for it.

The washing bags were filling fast. If Mikoto hadn't been using the huge ones, she was sure they'd be full in no time. It was just then that toddler Sasuke happened to be crawling through the hallway, making his way to where the noise of screaming people was coming from. He found his older brother, standing, gripping his hands onto the edge on the wall, sticking his head out from time to time to check what was going on.

He opened his mouth giddily.

"NIISANNNNNNNNNN!"

Sasuke was happy to find his aniki. He thought he was still playing hide-and-seek with Itachi. He pulled the corner of the jumper his brother was wearing and told him that he had found him by shouting one of the very few words he had learned to say. The older boy covered his younger brother's mouth immediately. Itachi placed his index finger on his lips and looked at the blameless child with pleading eyes.

"Shhh."

"Itachi-kun!"

"ITACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Itachi screamed in unadulterated fear.

"Hush, ladies! If you don't want me to burn all these lovely results of your labour and sweat, before they reach my son…" - As soon as Mikoto had finished her threat, the sudden drop in decibel in the Uchiha District was quite a significant one. The area went from a deafening noise to a deafening silence. - "…I suggest you to follow my previous instructions and stay quiet."Fearing that the fierce mother might just do what she had said, the girls had gone completely silent.

"Better," Mikoto said in a deceptively sweet tone of voice.

When Mikoto took a quick glimpse behind her through the corner of her eye, her sons were no longer there. Itachi took Sasuke in his arms and headed to his room to find peace and safety.

Shisui found Itachi holding up some toys and pulling his eye lid down when he was opening the bedroom door. "Hey, buddy. What're you doing here in your room?" He saw that Sasuke was laughing at the funny faces Itachi was making. Shisui looked at the brothers in distaste, with squinched gaze. His cousins were having a brotherly bonding time. Normally that would be a good thing, but not on this day.

"It's Valentine's Day." Shisui said, staring at Itachi through squinted eyes.

"No, wait. This should be my question." Itachi shot back. "What are _you_ doing here in _my_ room?"

"Well, I have nothing to do." Shisui gave a hysterical laugh. Itachi should know that he was off duty that day too. He was in his team. "My girlfriend has a mission today." His eyes enlarged and he tilted his head sideways.

_Why don't I have a mission today?_ Itachi thought grimly to himself. He had decided – he did not like Valentine's Day.

"I thought you have two girlfriends."

"Three, actually."

Shisui corrected, raising his right eye brow slightly before turning his head back up and sounding proud of his achievement.

"Get it right." He proceeded to further explain. "I was just seeing No. 1 off before she went on her mission. I have a date tonight with No. 2. I can't be bothered with No. 3 at the moment."

"But I thought No. 3 has found out that you have other girlfriends," Itachi stated, recalling that the incident happened last week, when a girl unexpectedly walked up to Team 13 on the street.

"_You man-whore!"_ She headed straight at the leader, ignored the existence of the children members of the team, and bitch-slapped him right in public.

"Hasn't she dumped you?"

"No." A short but untruthful statement.

Shisui had to deny the fact that he was ditched a week before the lovers' occasion. The surprise in his eyes cheated him. It was a pure embarrassment. He would never admit it, if only to save face, of being the womanizer he was. Itachi only shook his head in silent amusement after hearing his cousin's dishonesty.

When the girls were returning home, Yuna arrived to see a bunch of girls walking away from his home. Mikoto was about to drag the overloaded sacks to the living room. The blue-haired girl was holding her toddler brother in her left arm when she used her right hand to slide the door open to enter the Uchiha mansion.

"Good afternoon, Mikoto-oba."

"Oh - hello, Yuna, Naruto. What brings you here today?" Mikoto was not that surprised to see them in the house. They were regular guests. Naruto came around the compound and was looked after by Mikoto if both Kakashi and Yuna were on mission.

"Well, I think we should give Kakashi-nii some personal space today." Yuna thought she would not like to be in the house if Kakashi decided to bring someone home. They would leave Yuna by herself to go and make some strange noises, which she would prefer not to hear at all coming from the silver-haired young man and whatever lucky contender he had picked up recently.

To make matters worse, it was Valentine's Day.

"Kakashi-nii… is busy."

Mikoto understood what the girl was trying to say. She smiled, knowing that Shisui and Kakashi were two sides of the same coin. She was very calm when she spoke about it, with maturity way beyond her age. This young maiden was early in her years in accepting romantic ideas. She cringed, but she understood. Although Yuna was younger than Itachi, she was capable of comprehending what happened between a couple when they fell in love, or simply being friends with benefits, while Itachi chose to let those things fly right over his head. Either way, it was safe to say that girls tended to mature earlier than boys, especially in this department.

"So, Yuna, are you giving chocolate to anyone?" Mikoto asked tactically. She took a good look at the girl. Underneath the fleecy overcoat, Yuna wore a white dress that went down her knees with a brown cardigan on top. She took off the braid she usually had and let her hair down, flowing through her waist. Her front hair was twisted and a good portion of it was tucked behind her neck. The silk scarf that was baby pink in colour was draped loosely around her neck, and it highlighted the shimmering of her deep green eyes. She was on holiday, too, like her other teammates, Shisui and Itachi. Since she was off-duty, she was not in her shinobi attire. In a way, she did kind of dress up for the occasion.

But then, Mikoto knew the girl was just probably being a girl. Who didn't want to look pretty if they could?

"No." Yuna pouted lightly and shook her head. She didn't want Mikoto to think that she was one of those _girls_, a member of his solid fan base. Because she was not! "No one is getting any chocolate from me." That was not at all a lie. She did not give anyone any chocolate.

Her eyes darted to the bags in Mikoto's hands that were filled with chocolate and love letters. They were all for Itachi. Her best friend was just that oblivious. She knew. She couldn't help but shake her head again. On another note, Yuna gladly reminded herself in disgust looking down at all that: she liked being single, thank you very much. Mikoto, however, was feeling gutted on behalf of someone else, although her son would not get it, for now.

* * *

"I may like sweet things, but I can't eat that much chocolate."

Itachi was dazed to see so much chocolate at one time. Somehow, he managed to subside the sight of all those letters and concentrated on the sweets. Shisui was very impressed how much of a limbo he was, for a genius. While Shisui took one of the many letters in his hand and read it out loud in enjoyment, Yuna sighed deeply at her friend's distasteful hobby of making fun of his cousin, just like the way Kakashi did with her. Shisui went through almost half of them, while Mikoto giggled at the side.

Itachi blushed at the delicate words written in the letters, which made him squirm in discomfort.

"On second thought, I don't think I'll have any of those chocolates." Itachi cringed, learning finally what the whole fiasco was all about. He didn't feel like eating any of it now. "Would you like some, Shisui, Yuna?"

"Sure, it's food." Shisui would kindly offer to demolish any food, at any given time. "I'll never say 'no.' "

"No, thanks." Yuna did not want any of it. "Naruto might want some." A faint touch, but there was a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Are you sure Naruto can eat chocolate?" Itachi was shocked to think she would feed her one-year-old brother chocolate.

"He eats ramen." Admittedly, when Yuna saw Kakashi feeding Naruto ramen before, she was raging. But he argued that babies grew up best if they got to eat what they wanted. No. Kakashi was not the best babysitter, one would hope. She tried her best to stop him. She failed.

After that, Shisui suggested that Itachi should get some fresh air from all this. Yuna accompanied Itachi and they went out together. Naruto was left in the house under Mikoto's watch. Like always, Naruto and Sasuke ended up fighting - over chocolate this time. It was not necessary. There was plenty. The toddlers just had to mess with each other. It was a force of habit. They were born rivals and they would die rivals. Mikoto took the clue, of course. She thanked Shisui with a promise that she would make him a week's worth of bento.

Shisui was happy about all that, of course.

Itachi and Yuna, who had been walking together, stopped at the dango shop. As they walked by, Yuna recalled that Itachi liked visiting tea houses. She suggested they sit down down to keep warm before going back. It was quite a cold day. He sat down first and she went to get them food and tea.

"Here you go." She handed him dango and a cup of green tea. He promptly put his hands around the cup to warm his hands and he stared at the dango on the plate.

"What?" Yuna had no idea what he was thinking about. But it couldn't be about money. They tended to pay for each other in terms.

"Have you given chocolate to anyone?" Itachi thought all girls gave chocolate to guys on that day. Yuna was a girl. Was she not?

"No."

"Okay."

There was a pause. She took a small sip and she spoke again. "Anyway, I am treating you with dango."

"You could easily buy me chocolate in a shop. They are sold everywhere today."

"No," it was clear he still did not know the significance of chocolate itself. "I'm different." She was getting frustrated at her friend's blindness now. Yuna was a friend, not a girlfriend-want-to-be. "I will not give you chocolate on Valentine's Day, Itachi. Is that understood?" Yuna was making sure that he would never consider her as his fangirl. She was not. She would never be.

"Sure. Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day to you, too."

She knew what that day was about, though he didn't.

A month later on White Day, Itachi showed up with two skewers of dango in his hands. He offered one to Yuna before walking into exam hall and taking the first part of the chuunin exam, the written paper.

Yuna received the dumplings with a smile, and then, it hit her. It was White Day that day.

"Is there any reason why you're giving me dango, now, Itachi?" Yuna asked on the way into the exam hall. She just wanted to double check, to confirm her suspicion. Then, she turned around to see Shisui-_sensei_ giving her a cheeky wink, seeing his students off for their exams.

She understood. He only gave his reply in a stern voice, which told Yuna that he didn't identify the significance of his action.

"Hana yori dango." (花より団子 - dumplings rather than flowers - Japanese proverb)

Itachi was told that he should return a girl's kindness showed to him on Valentine's Day with a white rose. But then, Yuna gave him dango, he might as well return her gift in kind. She was a girl who had preference for practical things rather than aesthetics anyway. Moreover, he knew Yuna was not too keen on roses.

Itachi did not know what he was _really_ doing. He hoped he was doing the right thing, following Shisui's suggestion, since he had no idea what he was supposed to do.

Yuna walked ahead with her cheeks flushing madly, smiling sweetly when she tried to hide herself from that boy's piercing gaze.

As time went on, Itachi had learned about the true story of Valentine's Day and its rituals. Since then, every single time he ate dango, he thought of her. He would never let her know how he fell in love with dango. She would so tease him, for being a "helpless romantic," as she said. She insisted that she would never give him chocolate, and she kept her words.

Now that he thought about it, he did enjoy that Valentine. Without both of them knowing at the time, they were each other's one and only Valentine.

Itachi smiled as he awoke from a dream of his childhood memory, next to the woman he had loved ever since he was only a boy and she was just a girl.

"My funny Valentine," he whispered gingerly into her ears, staring at her face fondly, admiring her features. Her deep blue hair that held the depth of ocean, her aquiline nose, her long eye-lashes, her tempting lips... Yuna moaned softly to the tingling sensation she was feeling. Snuggling under the duvet, there was an open at the top of the cover. She searched her way to warmth as he slid his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. She was still sleeping. Then, she was slowly opening up her eye lids to the ray of sunlight, waking up to a new day. She saw him smiling at her.

Gradually, she sat up, holding the sheet with one hand to cover her naked body. A bit sleepy still. Humming a light note, though without speaking a word, she looked at him to ask if he had said something to her.

"Morning."

He loved all of her, even her princess-temper. Maybe...? Itachi would never tell her; he couldn't tell her. He was never good with words, but he could easily _show_ her.

The days of innocence were long gone.

* * *

Duh... guys. This fic is _obviously _inspired by the Jazz standard that we all know, 'My Funny Valentine'. If you really appreciate this little present I have for you, please leave a review. Thank you very much for reading.

'My Funny Valentine' - many artists have made covers of this beautiful tune

My funny valentine  
Sweet comic valentine  
You make me smile with my heart  
Your looks are laughable  
Unphotographable  
Yet you're my favorite work of art

Is your figure less than greek  
Is your mouth a little weak  
When you open it to speak  
Are you smart?

But don't change a hair for me  
Not if you care for me  
Stay little valentine stay  
Each day is valentines day

Go and listen to it. It is absolutely gorgeous. My personal favorite is Frank Sinatra version. Enjoy!

Think about what I have told you about Yuna so far, you'll see what I mean... She draws, she loves her hair, she's smart (and she likes people who are smart like her), she doesn't smile for anyone, but she smiles for him...

You know what I mean. ;)


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